assorted thoughts for a tuesday morning

Heard on a conference call today:
"There was a decision that we need to make a decision, but I don't think there was a decision."

I hate springtime in Colorado. I would probably hate it most anywhere, actually. The weather is just nuts and it drives me insane getting 3 or 4 good 70F days of riding in a row, then massive- heavy-wet snow. Sure, I could ride my trainer in the basement but if there's one thing that drives me even more insane than the springtime weather, it's pedaling a bike furiously, going nowhere and sweating to death. Maybe I should quit bitching and go ride in the cold and wet.

My little boy walked all the way across the kitchen last night. He'll be bombing down singletrack in no time. Once he consistently remembers that he can actually walk and doesn't need to crawl, life will be very interesting and his big sister had better watch out.

Tabasco pickle spears -- quite possibly the best food concoction of the 21st century.

dark disney

Pinocchio. My 3 year old daughter loves this video. Oh, that's cute. With all the modern day computer-generated characters, she still finds appeal in the old-fashioned animation and wholesome Disney stories.

And then it dawned on me. Pinocchio is a story about a lonely old clockmaker who makes himself a companion....a little wooden boy who sleeps with him. Imagine his delight when Pinocchio comes to life. A real live boy. That's some creepy Michael Jackson shit.

yuk yuk

this has to be one of the stupidest jokes ever:


In the restroom at work, the Boss had placed a motivational sign
directly above the sink's soap dispenser. It had a single word on it:

"Think!"

The next day, right below the first sign, someone had carefully
lettered another sign which read:

"Thoap!"

but last night, i woke up at 2:00 a.m. and for some reason, it popped into my half awake mind. and i giggled. then i began to laugh hard. soon, i was downright guffawing and snorting. the bed was shaking. and the more i thought about trying not to wake my wife, the funnier it got. and then the thought of trying to explain it to her if she woke up only made things worse.

the end.

short and curly

Why pubes?

As far as I know, humans are the only animals possessing different hair around their genitals. Yes, other mammals have hair around their junk, but it's the same hair that covers the rest of them: it's not a completely different category of hair, all twisted and wiry like our pubes. Imagine if cows had bushy tufts twixt their legs. Or monkeys at the zoo with mounds of wiry cock-n-ball beards that stood out distinctively from their hairy bellies. Conversely, imagine if we had the same hair that sits atop our heads draping our special parts.

It seems to me that animals are the ones who still need pubes -- not highly evolved humans. I mean, look at how far we have come from our apelike ancestors. Where did we get pubes and why are they still sprouting from us? We have been largely clothed now for thousands of years, so modesty certainly can't be argued.

Humans have no need for pubes. Pubes don't keep us warm. We spend lots of time and money to rid ourselves of them (mostly ladies), and dammit they're really pretty ugly to behold when you get right down to it.

We have become so accustomed to having them and seeing them that I don't think anyone really gives it a second thought. But look at yourself in the mirror after you get out of the shower. Or look at your significant other when he or she is naked. Now, I guarantee you will ponder my question. You might even giggle because they look really stupid now, don't they? Just look at that big ugly damned bush.

cobwebs

Hi. It's me. Sorry it's been so long since I've written.
So how have you been?
I hate it when work gets in the way of blogging.