Sunday, January 17, 2010

yesterday i saw a tv ad for an acid reflux medication called Aciphex. close your eyes and say that without looking at the word. what does it sound like to you? it suddenly turns from acid reflux medication to some sort of enhancement for your posterior.

Friday, January 08, 2010

nipples on men. seriously....why?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

dubious names for pubs

the stinky beaver

the spotted cock

old wrinkled dick's

the sagging loin

Friday, October 30, 2009

the famous Salt Lick bbq restaurant in Texas. on the menu, vegetable plate:

baked beans
cole slaw
potato salad

Thursday, October 08, 2009

there are few things more comical to me than people who think they are a little more neato than everyone else. like the people at work, for example, who park their vehicles diagonally across two straight-on parking spots in such a manner that no one can park right next to them and put a ding in the door of their mediocre transportation device.

but what's funny is, now all the neatos have begun parking right next to each other diagonally just as close together as they would in the straight-on slots. and the thing is, the parking places at work are really very generously sized to begin with.

if they were half as neat as they envision themselves, they would be driving things like bentleys, audi RS6s, BMW M6s, porsche caymans, etc. then, it wouldn't be so laughable.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

dear blog

dear blog,

i have missed you. in the coming days i promise to dust you off, fix you up with current links, and once again make you an outlet for the jibberish in my mind.


Monday, February 23, 2009

i will start by mentioning that i believe in evolution. but how freaking long is it going to take before we as a species rid ourselves of things like nipples on men and facial hair? COME ON!