breakfast of champions

For quite some time, one of the few tiny perks at this office has been a nice hot breakfast supplied to us the first Friday of every month. Usually, it would be pancakes or eggs, biscuits & gravy. On the really lucky days we'd get breakfast burritos or breakfast sandwiches.

Oh sure, the pancakes were rubbery, and the syrup was fake; the biscuits & gravy were utterly flavorless but it was something to look forward to even if the end result was a little disappointing. Sometimes, they would be out of regular fake syrup and supply us with sugar-free NutraSweet fake syrup. Or sometimes these fly-by-night caterers would forget to bring breakfast entirely, so they would throw some dried out danish and stale bagel halves into a basket at the last minute and call it good. But it was the idea that dammit, our management team cared enough to do something nice for us.

So this morning, I get up, pack my lunch, climb on my bike, and say to myself "Sweet! I'm starving and we get hot breakfast today!" Nothing could sound so good after a 40 degree bike ride.

I get to work, and there is nothing. No warming pans.....no breakfast. Maybe they're late. Still starving, I opened a packet of oatmeal I had in my desk: I can always eat the hot breakfast too since I'm so hungry. 8:30 and still nothing. Come to find out through the ever efficient rumor mill, they're not providing us with breakfast now, effective January 1.

It sure as hell would have been nice to know that ahead of time, you bastards. Maybe I could have stopped someplace and grabbed a bagel on the way in, but no – why would I possibly suspect that you jackasses might pull the rug out from under us without warning? That would be silly now, wouldn't it?

But of course, it’s really my fault. I should know better than to trust anyone in corporate America to be trustworthy, consistent, and efficient in communication. You know? I shouldn't be bitching. At least we are fortunate enough to be graciously rewarded with the privilege of wearing jeans on Fridays.