Bike to Work...Or Not

In Denver, we recognize Bike to Work Day on some Wednesday in the middle of June. Elsewhere, it takes place in May, however it is not uncommon for wintry conditions to loiter here until Memorial Day. For me, it makes little difference when it takes place since I commute to work on my two-wheeled steed pretty regularly all year long. My commute to the office is pretty short by cyclist standards, but I make the most of it to maintain some degree of fitness even through Thanksgiving gorging, Christmas feasts, and Easter candy gluttony. More importantly, I save on gas consumption and do my part to lessen traffic on our roadways.

I have been commuting by bike more often than not for the past four years. I have endured comments about my shaved legs, and snickers about my bike clothes so it occurred to me that maybe I could get others to try it. They don’t have to shave their legs or wear funny cycling clothes, but maybe they too might enjoy the detoxifying effects of riding to and from work.

This year, I thought it might be cool to promote Bike to Work Day here at the office, so I conspired with our friendly spirit team member to get the plan in motion. Our idea was to utilize the psychological advantage and overwhelming popularity of the beloved casual day, and allow anyone who participates in Bike to Work Day the opportunity to wear casual attire. Basically, it was a simple way to provide incentive for my coworkers to try alternative transportation while encouraging an active lifestyle if even for just one day. Spirit gal sent a note to the appropriate management chain for permission and we waited for a response. My god, you would have thought we asked for 50% salary increases.

Here was the first response we got from one of the management team:

“We have folks that bike to work on a regular basis without a casual day so I'm not so inclined to do so.”

I tried and tried to find some logic in that statement. I still just really can’t make any sense of that. If that sentence were a bird, it would have no wings. If it were a sandwich, it would have no bread. If it were a high school kid, it would have no date to the prom.

Disturbingly perplexed and bothered, I fired back a response which I knew had the potential to kick off a big shitstorm. But it was my duty as someone with the ability to reason. I thought surely if I used calm and rational logic, it would hit home and go off like a light bulb:

Dear (Senior Manager who shall remain nameless),

I understand the sentiment, but the idea /goal behind this was not just an excuse to dress casually, but more to encourage or entice others to try riding to work, if only for a day. It's simply a chance to show that there are other ways to get to work, save gas, reduce emissions, and promote fitness.

Thanks,
Brian

I don’t know what I was thinking. For a moment, I must have thought I worked someplace cool that is truly as embracing of diversity as it professes to be. Here’s the official word I received, but before you read it, put down your coffee so you don’t take a drink and spray it:

“And here is where my job stinks. From an HR perspective we can't target a group for a casual day. We either grant a casual day to everyone or we grant a casual day to no one. I understand exactly what your intent is, however I have to do my job so I said no.”

Ok, well I can sort of understand that point. I mean, you have to treat everyone in the workplace equally and fairly. And that’s why each year around the holidays, if you donate food and clothing to the local NBC affiliate’s annual drive you get casual day passes. Or when they decide we all need to take the afternoon off and go to a baseball game, those of us who would rather work or who can’t afford the ticket (yes, we have to buy our own) do not get casual day. Only the people fortunate enough to get to go to the game are rewarded with casual day. Oh—or if you donated items for a care package to send to a soldier in Iraq, you are able to attend a catered lunch as your reward. But that’s different. That’s not really targeting a group after all. No. No it isn’t.

Now, make no mistake – I really don’t give a shit if we get to wear shorts or jeans or whatever to work. It doesn’t fuel me to be a better corporate slave. Casual Day? Hey, that’s neat, but I’d trade all the casual days in the world for job security and a pay increase. But for some people, that’s the one sure way to motivate them to do something. And the beauty of it is, IT DOESN’T CUT INTO THE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF COMPANY PROFIT!! You can’t beat that! Happy employees and it doesn’t cost anyone a dime!

Maybe I’m being too harsh. I just don’t understand how the countless companies around town who provide free breakfast to Bike to Work Day participants manage to avoid litigation.