man among men

When is it ok to refer to someone as "man". As in "hey man, how's it going?" Is it after you have known someone a few days? Ten years? Ten minutes?

"Man" signifies a common bond of coolness. I think you are cool so I shall call you "man" to let you know that I think so without actually telling you, because to tell you "I think you are cool" is definitely not cool. And it is my hope that you will in turn address me as "man" upon our next encounter.

But when does one utilize this effective tool of brotherhood?
Let's look at an example of using this moniker when addressing someone whom you have never met.

I may not know the 22-year-old kid behind the counter at the coffee shop, but using a well-placed "man" signifies that although I am in my extremely early 40s, I can still hang onto and recognize cool. A simple "thanks, man" upon receiving my grande non-fat cappuccino communicates: "You may think that I am taken aback by your multiple piercings, tattoos, and non-corporate haircut, but I am not! I appreciate your individuality, for I too was once young and in fact still am in my mind." And the next time, he will recognize me and call me "hey man" and perhaps do me a solid with a free biscotto. He may even go so far as to hope that he too will remain cool after the next two decades have passed.

What about at work? As a new guy in my office, I am keenly in tune with the glimmering hope brought about when I am referred to as "man" or greeted with "hey man". It is then that I know I have been accepted on some level into a group which acknowledges that there are those of us who are called "man" and those who are not. This is not to be confused with "working for the man". That man is not cool.....at least not until it comes time for bonuses.

Sometimes it is even ok to call a woman "man". In this case it implies a sense of "down-ness". That is to say, "I am down with that, and I know you are down with that as well." This is especially true if she is involved or interested in the same sports you are.

There are even different ways to express "man". There is "bro" and its variant, "bra". And "dude" is used only as a tongue-in-cheek reference to the 1980s. However, any of these may be used at any time between like-minded participants in some event such as mountain biking, snowboarding, skating, or beer drinking regardless of length of the acquaintance. "Dude! That was SICK!" may be heard as an expression of amazement and reverence when you successfully huck your mountian bike off a five foot drop without breaking a collar bone or pelvis.

Man, I either think too much or have too much time on my hands, dude.